It’s been a good month for books so far! Nick Harkaway’s The Gone-Away World blew me away with it’s odd humor and good emotional grace notes. There’s a bit of fussery I could live without near the end but it is a solid piece of work. Also it has ninja and mimes. For seriously.

Junot Diaz’ The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao was also quite the stellar work. One of those books that you simply understand why it won the awards it did. The book did a slow burn on me, at first I wasn’t sure about it and then I suddenly noticed I just wanted to sit and devour it. Noice.

Russell T. Davies and Benjamin Cook gave us Doctor Who: The Writer’s Tale. A fascinating look at writers, TV and how this crap all comes together. It’s a huge glossy book that is full of emails between the two men, honest looks at what it takes to create this stuff, dead ends, scripts, revisions, and txt messages at times. It’s one of those books that works as a gift for writers or fans of the show. It will, mind, spoil all of season 4 for you, if you haven’t seen it.

David Lapham’s Young Liars: Vol. 1 Daydream Believer. It’s Lapham so you expect a certain something something from his comics. But this is something more. It’s awful, desperate, honest and brutal and completely fucking insane. One of those trades so good I wanna go get the single issues because I need to know what happens next.

Howard the Duck is coming out on DVD on March 10th. I just needed to tell you all that. Ten bucks for a pre-order. I have mine. Do you have yours?

Tropic Thunder was … you know I expected to outright not enjoy this film. I like Stiller, in very certain roles and never in others. I like Jack Black in limited doses. I love Robert Downey Jr but… the thing felt like a mess waiting to happen. What is was … well it was a mess sometimes. And when it was a mess it was a glorious one. And when it worked it was fantastic and it worked at least half the time. And the real star of the show is Tom Cruise, of all people, who made me cackle with delight every time he was on camera. I still feel a little guilty about that. Considering I do not like Tom Cruise. Not since, like, Top Gun or Risky Business.

I, uhhh, also watched a lot of Doctor Who and uhhh… some Bill & Ted . Because you have to. Besides the two go together. Look, the doctor travels in the TARDIS, a flying Police call box. Bill and Ted travel space and time in a red phone booth. It has to be named the RETARDIS, right?

Anyway.

Yeah. It’s Monday.

LEGEND OF THE BURRITO BLADE launches next Monday! Yes that’s right, the first time I mentioned this thing in public was in August. Now, in January, we prepare to launch. We’re well off, by the way, if you were worried. We have the first 40 pages in the can. So you can read knowing full well that there will be updates every Monday, Wednesday and Friday without fail.

But we also want to show love and do more than just say “Read this!” a lot. So we created a handy bit of work for you:

Yes it is tiny, because the original is at the size of a normal page of the comic. So click through to see the goodness. And if you still aren’t sure - there’s a bit of me dancing in there. Yes, sir.

And you can subscribe via RSS or, if you are on LiveJournal you can add the feed there (http://syndicated.livejournal.com/burritoblade/profile) as well.

Please, spread it around! This week and next! We won’t get readers ’cause we dance pretty!

Well we might get readers because we dance pretty, because we do dance pretty, after all, but you know what I mean.

So it is Sunday. I’ve had two weeks off work and am going back tomorrow morning. Huh. Well it’ll be good to get back to a predictable schedule I suppose. I’m trying to look at the bright side. Also this coming week some posts of note will happen. Monday, Thursday and Friday will all have things that will help shape the coming years. So there we go.

As always, no matter how much I do or don’t do during my time off at the holidays I always feel like I simply didn’t do enough. Isn’t that the way of things though? I think it just might be.

A few people asked if I have any resolutions for the year. I really only have one: Be faster. And I’ll have to be to keep up this year, trust me. It’s gonna be crazy. Truly crazy. What’s also crazy is that I had my convention schedule set for the year and it has fallen apart. At this point I don’t think I am doing Lunacon and may not be doing SDCC. Feb will still see me around NYCC, but outside of that I simply don’t know what’s up.

What I do know about 2009 is that it will be bigger.

Much bigger.

A Mashup of the Top 25 Hits of 2008, according to Billboard.

This is wonderfully done and sounds better than many of these songs do by themselves.

Songs include:

Flo Rida Featuring T-Pain - Low
Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
Alicia Keys - No One
Lil Wayne Featuring Static Major - Lollipop
Timbaland Featuring OneRepublic - Apologize
Jordin Sparks Duet With Chris Brown - No Air
Sara Bareilles - Love Song
Usher Featuring Young Jeezy - Love in This Club
Chris Brown - With You
Chris Brown - Forever
Ray J & Yung Berg - Sexy Can I
Rihanna - Take a Bow
Coldplay - Viva La Vida
Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl
T.I. - Whatever You Like
Rihanna - Disturbia
Rihanna - Don’t Stop the Music
Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful of Sunshine
Chris Brown Featuring T-Pain - Kiss Kiss
Ne-Yo - Closer
Colbie Caillat - Bubbly
Mariah Carey - Touch My Body
Madonna Featuring Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes
Pink - So What
Finger Eleven - Paralyzer

Prolific mystery writer Donald Westlake dead at 75.

NEW YORK (AP) — Donald Westlake, a prolific author considered one of the most successful and versatile mystery writers in the United States, has died. He was 75.

Westlake collapsed from an apparent heart attack as he headed to New Year’s Eve dinner while vacationing in Mexico, his wife, Abigail, told the New York Times.

In a lengthy career that spanned a half-century, Westlake won three Edgar Awards, an Academy Award nomination for his screenplay “The Grifters” and the title of Grand Master from the Mystery Writers of America in 1993. His first novel, “The Mercenaries,” was published by Random House in 1960.

Westlake wrote more than 90 books — mostly on a typewriter. Aside from his own name, he also used several pseudonyms — including Richard Stark, Tucker Coe, Samuel Holt and Edwin West — in part because people didn’t believe he could write so much so quickly.

————–

One of my all time favorite authors, along more than one of his names even which is kinda odd - the day you find out that two people you enjoy are actually the same guy. Damn shame, this.

So New Years Eve. You gotta understand, now, I’m the guy who doesn’t go out on NYE. I live in NY and almost everything crosses the streams with Times Sq that night and that shit is a fucking nightmare and you don’t wanna do it and … it’s just so much saner to avoid crap. Plus I woke up feeling like I was coming down with something. So it was totally a night to stay in and relax and get some work done and just be calm and quiet and normal.

Except.

While I was at the bar Monday the blues band guitarist told me that he had put together a slightly special band for NYE. Second guitar player and a harmonica player that both just rocked. And he told me, in no uncertain terms, that I should at least stop by.

Then both waitresses told me I had to come. And Hammerpants and I both considered it. But that was, then, a few days away and who knows what plans will bring. So we said maybe. And they said “yes, you will,” a bunch and that was that.

So last night I’m sitting around, eating dinner, and realizing that while I feel a bit under the weather that I really should, for once, just once, say fuck this and go out on NYE. Besides a buncha folk there wanted to see me and I could think of far, far worse friends to ring in the New Year with. So I tossed on some clothes and walked out into the holyfuckingshitit’scold night.

I got to the bar, Hammerpants and his group (he had him a group) weren’t there yet. So I sat at my fuckin’ seat, because it’s my fuckin’ seat, and had a drink. And then you know, people showed up and the band kicked a lot of ass, and good times were had and…

Look the bar opened at 9 pm. Which is when I got there. They closed about 4 am. Which is when I left. Except then we were hungry, because, you know shit we’d been drinking for a while. I mean shit, I put in a 7 hour drinking shift, man. I needed some tasty vittles!

Luckily there is the Wash Sq Diner, which is kind enough to be open 24 hrs a day. Of course at 4, as last call sounded, they were packed but that was fine. I mean it was fine for me. The staff liked the money they were making but otherwise they were, rightfully so, ready to kill. Imagine working in a diner where your night shift ends up with a line waiting out the door for tables and every single customer is drunk. That has to be a special hell.

And then, you know how it is, homeward bound. Which was wonderfully timed. I got home at 6am. I first thought “Fuck this I should go” 12 hours before. So there you go.

And no there are a fuckton of details that will not end up in this post about last night. Sometimes you don’t tell about your friends drunken antics, or other things that just don’t go here. So, you know, a damned good time was had by all.

For your handy reference at any party you may be at tonight I found (but did not make) this handy venn diagram that will show you all of the woes or benefits of mixing various types of booze together. Hope it helps.

S.J. Tucker fucking rocks. Please keep that in mind. She’s an amazing songwriter and singer and well … one of the best humans I have known. I don’t say that shit lightly. I don’t get to spend time with her much these days but I think about her often. You know those people who are just full of life and are always willing to share it? That’s S.J.

She recently spent some time in the hospital and may need to go back. And that’s sad. No doubt. But where it gets ugly is that S.J. is a full-time touring musician. Guess how much health care she has?

Right.

So she’s looking at something on the order of a 25k hospital bill. Which is, mind you, a very bad thing. So she’s trying, with the help of her friends and loved ones, to raise the money. Oh sure if you want to just send money you can, but money is tight all over and everyone knows that. So instead you should get something for your money.

You can get all of her music at deep DEEP discount here, and also help her raise the money she needs. Think of it! You get some great music and you help someone out!

Also, on LiveJournal, there is a community (http://community.livejournal.com/saveours00j/) that is full of things on auction, with all the money to go toward S.J.’s medical bills. There’s stuff like jewelry there and way more (win the use of your name as a main character in a novel written by, like, a famous author (Catherynne Valente) for christ’s sake!)

So if you have some holiday money, or you love new music or you just want to help someone out - here’s a way to do it.

And aww hell, why not. If you go and buy my short story collection CRAZY LITTLE THINGS any time this month I will donate all of my royalties for the period to S.J. as well. I am trying to get that upped to include all proceeds, but I can’t make that promise just yet (it involves someone else saying yes), but … eh, I’ll cover it if he says no. So there ya go. ALL PROCEEDS from the sale of that book for the month of January (and the last few days of December) go right to S.J.

Help her out, ok?

Int. Elsop’s Pub, night
The pub is filled, bursting with life. People gather and drink and carry on, as per usual for a Saturday night. No one has noticed the old wooden enclosed bar phone booth in the corner. It’s always been there, hasn’t it?

Out of the booth steps a man. He is THE BASTARD. He strides forward, full of purpose and sits at an empty table. A waitress comes by.

Waitress: What’ll it be then?

The Bastard: A tour of every bar ever. What do you say? And get me a damned drink. Scotch.

Waitress: I’ll be back … uhh … with your drink.

The waitress goes off, muttering, and comes back with a scotch, neat.

The Bastard: So how about it?
Read the rest of this entry »

This might be my favorite spam that I have gotten in a while. Read it. It tries so gloriously hard!

From: fbi@fbi.gov
To: undisclosed-recipients: ;
Subject: FBI TRANSACTION APPROVAL NOTICE

Federal Bureau of Investigation
FBI Seattle Division
1110 Third Avenue
Seattle, Washington 98101-2904

Payment Code: R5109176K
Reg No: 132731593
Date: December 27, 2008

Date: December 27, 2008

FBI TRANSACTION APPROVAL NOTICE:

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has discovered through our intelligence Monitoring Network that you eligible to receive the sum of $2,000,000.00 USD from the National Lottery Program.

Therefore, the FBI Seattle Division in conjunction with the United States Department of Homeland Security (DHS), Has screened through our various Monitoring Networks and has been confirmed and notified that the transaction you have with Spring Bank Plc is Legal and you have the Lawful Right to claim your due fund. We advise you to go ahead with the transaction as we are monitoring all their services and networks. Be advised that any letter or claims notification received from anybody or company should be forwarded to us with immediate effect.

Meanwhile, you are advised to follow the procedure of Spring Bank Plc. They have their own legal procedure which we have examined and confirmed legal. Follow their instructions while you keep us updated for more details. You are advised to contact the necessary office for more details of transfer as we are monitoring every move now.

Please, be advised and be aware that your funds had been insured and the necessary charges would be taken care of by you, as confirmed by the Monitoring network. For your own good you are advised to confirm any transaction or lottery promo you have either involved yourself with in the past to enable us trace this scammers. Only Spring Bank Plc has been confirmed Legal any other are still under investigation, and so many others are scam, most especially from Nigeria and Africa.

Please contact the Head of Operations Dr. Malcolm Edey, Spring Bank Plc.

Dr. Malcolm Edey (Head of Operations)
International Remittance Department
Head Office: Plot 143, Ahmadu Bello Way, Victoria Island, Lagos 23401
Nigeria.